Thoughts on Living Abroad: Losing Friends & Making Friends

I don't know if it is the same with you, but living abroad has led to me losing friends, or at least being so out of touch with people that you don't really know them anymore. Maybe it is the distance, the fact that you can't physically see someone and spend time with them in person, or maybe it's just that you've started a new chapter in your life and some people don't come along with you. Although things like skype, facebook, and emails are available to us, it really takes effort on both friends' part for a long distance friendship to work. And it can be hard losing friends at home while you are in a foreign country. As exciting and fun as exploring a new place and culture can be, you can still feel lonely when you are eating dinner every night on your own and you just want someone to talk to. So people with friends living abroad - stay in touch with your friends, ask them about their lives now and their experiences living away from home! Be a part of their lives, I know they want to be a part of yours, even though you may be separated by hundreds of kilometers.

Although you might lose one or two friends, you'll make new ones. I promise! It might take some time, but you'll meet some great people and form new friendships. Making friends in Lund was not that hard. I was studying there for two years and I was in a program with some really great people. From day one, I started hanging out with two girls from Toronto and California and they were the most fun-loving and my most closest friends in Sweden. I also met a really awesome Australian in my first semester in Lund and we've gone from having coffee every week for a few months to him moving to London and then home and seeing each other a few times a year. He and his girlfriend are getting married in Sweden in a few weeks and the boyfriend and I are so excited to see two of our friends tie the knot! One of the downsides of making friends while you are studying abroad is of course that most people do eventually leave again. But when you're studying together or you're both coming from abroad, you really understand what the other person is going through and can support each other through it all.

Making friends in Denmark has been a different experience. Although I am friends with the boyfriend's friends, they are his friends and I don't want to tag along all the time. For awhile, it sucked when the boyfriend had plans with his friends on the weekend and I didn't so I would be home on my own, just like the rest of the week. But over the last year I've developed some new friendships. A friend of ours from Vancouver was living and studying in Copenhagen last year and I met two really great girls through him. Meeting people through your friends is a great way to widen your network. If your friend likes them, chances are you probably will as well!  I've also made some friends through the danish course I am taking. People come from all over the world in danish classes and you will probably not be friends with all of them, but there will be a few who you'll want to hang out with. Most of the time, they're in a similar situation as yours and you can really bond through these shared experiences. 

Most of my friends in Copenhagen now are international students, expats, and people who are married to Danes for example. Perhaps it's easier to connect with people who understand where you are from and understand what you're going through now abroad in this new place because they're going through similar things. I don't know! I still have a few really great friends in/from Vancouver and I can't wait to see them in a month. I love how we have kept in touch and how when we do see each other, it's like we were never apart because we know what is going on in each others lives. Friendships mean the world to me!

Have you lived abroad or are you living abroad? How has your experience with friendships at home and in your new city been?